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Life lately has been busy. I’ve been running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get the auction up and running (it’s up now, btw). Between that, and work extra¬†curricular activities¬†I’ve become a busy little girl. I’m always tired, like a walking zombie more than a human being. We’ve talked about raising my meds this weekend, but I don’t know if I’ll manage to do it. I don’t know if I can handle more benzos in my system. I already drool on my pillow every night, and I generally start the pass out process around 6pm. I try.. not to be such a stick in the mud, but there’s not much I can do for it.

I’ve apparently had seizures that I didn’t know I was having. Yesterday, a co-worker apparently came over and poked me in the back while I was working. She wanted my attention for something. I didn’t react, didn’t move. She hung around and said my name a few times until I was back to the real world. I don’t remember any of it. I have no recall of being “out of it” so who knows how many seizures I’ve had that I *don’t* know about. Makes me wonder if my seizure diary is really worth it.

Caroline’s getting ready for her flight over. The race is really soon. She’s started a new job, and I know she’s stressed. I wish I could be there for her.

I’m excited to see my best friend in just a few days really. I wish NYC was really an option, but between money, meds, and medical histories it’s probably best to stay within range of my doctors here, or Johns Hopkins itself.

Anyway, this is more of a diary entry than a real “blog”. I really should work on more things to say.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. seakats
    Oct 29, 2010 @ 17:38:29

    New kind of seizures = crappy. Your meds are obviously not controlling the generalized seizures (p. mal). Do you have t/c s? What you’re describing is my version of hell. When, may I ask, will they finally decide on surgery for you?? It seems that things are getting worse and worse. Makes it seem pretty minor when I complain about sp and med side effects. Have you ever considered disability for yourself?


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