Post Marathon + Vacation

Caroline ran the marathon, and I couldn’t be more proud. She is continuously blogging about it on her site, so please go visit & see how the marathon felt for the runner.

For the viewer, at home… It felt terrifying, and exciting, and wonderful all at once. I sat using my iPhone app, constantly hitting refresh. I watched where she was on the map TRYING to not feel guilty about being in Virginia while she was in NYC for me. It’s like, in some ways, we are connected. I watched how fast she ran, when she passed certain landmarks and I cheered, crying a lot, as she crossed the finish line. My best friend had done it. She has run one of the most prestigious marathons in the world, and she did it without accident or injury. She is an amazing woman.

After the marathon, Caroline and her boyfriend Adam, came to my town to visit and see what there is to be seen. My car, for the first time in over 6 months, got some exercise. After a couple of days in my town, mostly eating with very little site seeing, we went to DC to see the big city.

Anyone who knows me, and has gone site seeing with me in one of the “big cities” that I’ve lived in, or spent time in, knows that I can show you a city in less than 2 days, if necessary. DC was no exception. We didn’t hit any museums as to be honest that would have been impossible, but we did hit the monuments and I did give a brief history lesson (as best I could) at each of them. I was a walking encyclopedia and I was loving it.

After wandering up and down the Mall, we went to the National Air & Space Museum to catch a quick bite at the McDonalds and so they could wander around some more. At this point I was not feeling myself. My thoughts kept fluttering around to other places, and honestly I felt like I was in another world myself. As we wandered, I felt worse and worse. It got to the point I finally told Caroline to go find Adam and I’d wander the gift shop. I neither wanted to cause alarm, nor ruin their experience. Caroline, after what felt like days, came back with Adam and mentioned something and I know I said I needed to go back to the hotel. They were ready to walk, and I said I’d take a cab. At this point, I had lost everything. I was no longer able to keep my brain together.

To be perfectly honest, I don’t know how it all worked out. I don’t know if I TOLD Adam and Caroline to walk and enjoy themselves, or if they sent me on my way. I don’t even remember getting in the cab & giving directions. I don’t remember paying for the cab, I don’t remember getting to the hotel room. I remember nothing until an hour or so later when Caroline came back in. I was sound asleep, face down on the bed and I heard movement in the room. I felt like the life had been sucked out of me and there was nothing left but to sleep what was left of my life in that bed. A short time later I said to Caroline that I couldn’t move my legs. I’ve had this happen before, lovely atonic seizures in my legs. I’ve fallen down stairs, fallen out of bed, fallen goodness knows where else, but in my adult life it has never actually happened with someone else right there.

Caroline comes over and starts prodding at them, picking them up and dropping them. I think she felt to some degree I was joking around after all of the walking we had done. At this point I had started crying. This seizure is the scariest of my seizures anymore. It’s like being a paraplegic but knowing that’s all wrong. That your legs are there and you SHOULD be able to move. Knowing what should  happen, and yet having the opposite happen is a terrible thing.

I have trouble connecting the dots for that evening. My memory is sketchy at best. A bit like going out on a bender and things being remembered only AFTER someone tells you about it. If only I really did have a bender, at least I’d be able to explain it easily.

Now, however, the vacation is over. The holidays are beginning and off we go to another adventure.

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